Most people would like to improve a few things about themselves. We'd like to run faster, be stronger, increase our memory. Some things can be fixed, and some cannot. Shyness and Anxiety might always be a part of who we are, but we can turn it down. We can control it, overcome it, deal with it. There are many people who require years of therapy to get over severe anxiety, and I wish them all the best. But there are many of us who just need to understand how fear works, how to manage it, and build upon our experiences so that we can overcome it.
You don't need to jump out of an airplane, walk over coals, or give a speech to thousands. You don't have to freak yourself out. If you really want to change, you just have to make a few adjustments, take on a few small, realistic challenges, and analyze your reactions so that each time it gets easier.
If you're reading this site, you're interested in improving yourself. That is HUGE. Please acknowledge that.
How Fear Works
We'll discuss the physical aspects of fear and anxiety, what it does to us, how it works, and how to turn these effects down to a manageable level.
Find Your Voice
It's difficult to function in this world if you can't speak up for yourself. We'll discuss tiny ways to speak up more in safe, easy ways, how to speak to (good) strangers, how to break the ice, how to speak with authority figures.
Bodybuilders work out nearly every day, and stretch on their off days. To grow, you must work. Don't wait until the night before you have to give a big speech or toast - work on your shyness every single day. I'll give you exercises and ideas to find ways for you to practice a little bit at a time.
If there is enough interest, I'm going to be holding small (5 to 7 people) workshops at the local library (east end Toronto). This would be a great way for people to practice getting over their shyness in a tiny group of other shy people, who would obviously understand.
Please click Contact to let me what you're looking for, and I'll notify you when I'm booking a workshop.
I am in the process of writing an online course that will feature video information and worksheets - if you'd like to be notified when this comes online, please email me.
Would you like a one on one Skype session, to discuss your shyness, how fear and anxiety mess us up, and learn some tools how to get through it? Let's have a half hour video call.
This could be great for children, as their parent or guardian could sit beside them during the chat and take notes.
I'll be booking the first three calls at a huge discount, for the sake of honest feedback and testing.
Please email me if you'd like to arrange a session.
I've always been an incredibly shy, nervous person. I worried so much in school that I had stomach ulcers in grade six. Even in my early twenties, I often could not speak unless spoken to, and was absolutely terrified to sing in front of anyone.
Then I realized I wanted to be a performance poet, an artist, somebody who lived out loud. I had to find ways to push through the fear, control it, and build on each experience. I have rewired my brain to see terror as a challenge, and to stay fairly calm through it. Now I work on "Project Do What Scares Me" every time I see an opportunity - from holding a huge boa constrictor to singing with my rock band (I still get stage fright around 50% of the time). Please note - there are things we're supposed to be afraid of for our own safety, like fire or extreme heights. Let's not get nutty here. I would NEVER ask you to do dangerous things!
You likely know whether you need professional help, or just a coach to set you on the right path. I've been through tons of research, studies, and personal experience in dealing with shyness and anxiety - I can give you the tools and information you need to transform yourself as much as you want to. All you need is the will to change, a notebook, and a few minutes every day. You likely shouldn't push yourself as hard or as far as I did, but I'm sure that you could push yourself a tiny bit, and prove to yourself that you can live bigger and louder than you ever thought possible.
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